I think my dad is the main reason why I’m going to be single forever. Like I just can’t handle relationships. You never know what the person is going to be like after shit hits the fan. I can’t trust him. He’s such an asshole and he doesn’t respect anyone. Everything has to go his way. And I know all people aren’t like that but he’s enough to scare me off to everyone else.
And sure maybe I’m selfish and inconsiderate but I’d rather be alone forever than be with someone who would treat me like he has. He’s the main reason why I cry so much. He’s why I think too much. He’s why I can’t focus.
Actions are nothing. Hit me until I get bruises all over. I don’t care. But his words… I’ll never forget the way they hurt me. They make me stay up late at night. They make me worried. What if I get kicked out again? What will I do? Where will I go?
i keep replaying scenes in my head, imagining the worst case scenario
what if i messed up?
i can’t think straight. i can’t function efficiently
what i did was wrong
will this be the end?